Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? If you answered “both” then this article is for you. It might be possible to have both, however you must be very careful on of how you go about this. Compromise is the key. When some hear the word compromise they tend to think of it as a negative – that you are giving in and letting the other person walk all over you. This is not the case when we talk about healthy compromise.
Healthy compromise is about seeing a situation from the other person’s perspective and when both parties give a little in order to reach a mutually satisfying solution. This does not involve negative feelings of resentment, disrespect and stubbornness. We all have our own goals and our own ideas of how things should be. When your partner has different ideas and expectations it’s important to be able to work together and negotiate something that will suit both of your needs.
Here are some very basic key elements to achieving a healthy compromise
Talking – this involves explaining your perspective completely, including your feelings and expectations.
Listening – hear what your partner is really saying. Hear each other out.
Stay open – while you are communicating keep an open mind. Your partner has ideas and has a right to be included.
Empathy – put yourself in the other person’s perspective and see the importance from their eyes. You might not necessarily agree with them but having understanding and thoughtfulness goes a long way.
Take the time – mutually beneficial situations require time and attention from both parties. Take the time to share the plan with your partner and making them feel included.
Patience – you may have thought out situations or ideas already…allow your partner to do the same.
Be respectful – both of you have the right to speak your mind and be heard.
If we truly want our relationships to be successful and be built to last we have to be willing to compromise. I will ask again, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Although you may enjoy the recognition of being right and having things your way, how would you feel if in the process your partner feels hurt, angry or worse…insignificant? Relationships are about belonging, love and trust. Healthy compromise is about balance. It may take a little longer but it’s worth it. WH